If someone were to have told me 10 years ago where and who I’d be today, well…you’ve heard this one before…I would have told them they were insane. So instead of making a list of resolutions for the new year/new decade…I’m going to honor the profound changes I’ve experienced and express how proud I am of myself for having endured some of the lowest lows, for having made some of the most difficult decisions, for getting through them as gracefully as I possibly could, and for allowing myself to be and to express more of who I continue to become and just how much I’m learning to love myself in the process.
Over the last ten years I’ve spent the better part of them stripping away everything I thought I knew about myself and the world around me and learning to find my footing and identity on my own terms. Completely leaving behind previous religious beliefs and limitations on the spirit and heart and mind and allowing myself to throw the “rules” of how to live a “normal” life out of the window and really cultivating my own relationship with the divinity that I know is within, not without. No longer giving my power away or looking for answers outside of myself has been most rewarding. Seeking my own truth versus relying on others to tell me what’s true has been a game-changer for me and the quality of my life. “Who makes these rules?” is a phrase I frequently say to myself…
Despite the fact that things began to seemingly fall apart in just about every aspect of my life during the first few years of this decade, experiencing extreme discontent in the deepest sense, unhappiness, depression, anxiety (I thought I had conquered years prior,) and the dissolution of my marriage…I finally allowed myself to really experience emotion in a way I had never felt allowed before. I began to acknowledge how my body and my intuition had been speaking to me so loudly for so long, and I began to learn how to listen. I began to notice how I was being guided, subtly, to avenues of opening up my heart, mind and my awareness. And I began to allow all of the emotions I had been pushing away to come forward to be acknowledged…it was hard. But, through this, I learned the value of allowing emotions to move through me real-time…which I now know, for me, is the most efficient way to cultivate new energy.
I took a deep dive inward. I began to put myself first. I began really knowing and embracing that my emotions, thoughts, and feelings were valid – and that there were people who were willing to truly listen. And further, there were people who understood me.
I came to know that everything is energy. That there is so much more to this life, world, universe, this experience, than what can be seen. I opened my mind up to concepts such as the spirit realm, metaphysics, the power of positivity, the law of attraction, energy bodies, chakras, raising one’s frequency, vibration, multidimensionality, mediumship, channeling, energy work…
Oh, energy work…what a life-changer. An integral part of my life – the experience of it for the first time, the ways in which it shifted my mind, body, spirit – and is something I will cherish for the rest of my days. That unbelievably magical experience ignited a passion within me that had been long-forgotten…a passion that reminded me why I am here and what brings me joy. A stepping stone onto my path of service to others. And a means to open up to my ability to work with others energetically and in my own unique way.
I consumed it all. And became enriched and nourished by the perspectives. Expanding my horizons and opening myself up to the infinite possibilities. Doing my best to not doubt, but to only allow. Loving what arose within me.
Because I made difficult choices, because I chose to stand in my truth and to be fully authentic in following my intuition, because I decided to take the path less travelled and do what I needed to do to feel happy, knowing how devastating it would be, but also knowing and trusting that in time it would get better, it did get better. And the last 6 years of this decade have been some of my favorite years yet.
A lot of things have come full circle within this last ten years. What started as a “failed marriage” has evolved into a great friendship…a co-parenting team based in love and mutual respect. We are blessed to have a well-rounded daughter who is just a great human and a pure source of joy. I feel more like myself than I could have ever imagined and through all of the hardships, I’ve been able to more-easily offer my best self to those around me and to feel more comfortable being open and honest about the not-so-great days. I feel liberated.
I have been blessed to have found and experience great unconditional love and deep, yet expansive, connection with One that allows me to be exactly who I am; a friendship-turned-relationship that has taken me places and afforded me experiences I’d never had, and has taught me far more about myself than I can even put into words…a reason this decade will go down as one of the best, without question. Beyond love. Magic.
Another one of most wonderful and awe-inspiring aspects of the last decade is the connections I’ve been honored to make with people all across this glorious Earth. I will be forever and eternally grateful for the thousands of people I have either connected with personally or privately, via live session or group session, over the years…the ones that have instilled trust in me and have allowed me to be a part of their journeys. Those who were there in the beginning when I was just starting to figure things out – the TOTU crew – will always hold a special place in my heart…I simply wouldn’t be who I am today without you guys. The definition of soul family.
And to the many great friends I’ve made along the way – I know now, thanks to this immensely informational decade, that we come together for a reason. I’m just appreciative of having that perspective because it makes life take on such a more valuable meaning. Isn’t life divine?
So many things to be grateful for as we end 2019, slide into this new era that is 2020 and beyond.
Here’s to continued connection, unconditional love, expanded self-awareness, rise in consciousness, synchronicity, beauty, magical experiences, greater understanding, and liberation in truth.
Bring on the clarity, 2020.
My Quantum Touch 