Today I’m celebrating the one year anniversary of my website (by writing a very wordy post with lots of commas) – YAY! I suppose since it’s been a while since I’ve written, I’ll talk a bit about what’s been going on with me lately. Just throwing out a disclaimer, for those of you who may read this who haven’t paid a bit of attention to any of my Facebook posts or that haven’t read any previous blog posts, I do not see myself as simply human. Okay? There you have it, cat’s out of the bag, let’s move along now, shall we? I AM an energetic being experiencing a physical manifestation here on this lovely place we call Earth. (This does not mean that I think I’m an alien – and for those unfamiliar with the term “energetic being”, I mean that aside from this flesh and bone costume I’m wearing, I am made of divine light and information.) And so are all of you! And whether you choose to take life to that level of experience is completely and totally up to you – and it’s all good, either way. Our experiences here are so perfectly individualized and so unique to each of us, it takes all kinds to keep this elaborate dance going – so I embrace all the differences and love them and am grateful for the contrast they provide, otherwise, what would be the point? Let’s face it – this isn’t necessarily, particularly in my neck of the woods, the things that people typically talk about. So – I have to give thanks to my network of like-minded-truth-seeking-heart-centered spiritual friends across the globe, you beautiful beings have helped to make my current reality a less lonely, and more accepted one.
Please don’t get me wrong, the purpose in sharing my experiences is not to push any kind of ideas or agendas or beliefs on anyone else; I share out of sheer open-bookness and a need and willingness to be authentic, honest and transparent. And, I happen to think that experiencing life at this level is amazing. And intellectually stimulating. And deep. And interesting. And magickal. And FUN. Well, it’s not all fun…hahaha. The whole initial process of awakening is scary as shit and uncomfortable and humbling and confusing and freaking lonely – but, it’s necessary. I think it’s necessary if you want reclaim your connection with your divine self, your connection to All That Is, and to truly embrace the knowing that you are an expression of divinity in form. And for me, it took stripping away so much of who I thought I was, it took experiencing a lot of emotional clearing and the dissolving of old ways of thinking and behavioral patterns – things that no longer resonated with me and where I’m at on my journey, in order for me to come to this realization. And through the breaking down and rebuilding and the extensive emotional clearing, which essentially is like cleaning out the closet to make room for more of what you want, I’ve not only been able to really come back into alignment with who I feel I truly am (a work in progress) but I’m really getting the hang (at least for now…until the next shift happens) of what it’s like to be an energetic being – what it takes/feels like to release what no longer serves me (and knowing I have the power to do so) and what it feels like in my body to experience shifts in energy, taking on new energies and what it is in my experience to integrate said energies. Mind you, I’m still experiencing these emotional upheavals but they are becoming less frequent and less intense. Having the awareness that what is being “removed/cleared” is only being replaced with light/information and just relaxing into whatever arises helps the process move along more efficiently. It seems that with each “clearing + receiving of energy + integration of energy” process, it’s like a level-up in this elaborate game of life. It’s a raising of awareness, an expansion of consciousness, a new level of understanding and once fully integrated, it’s on to the next round…and I’ve come to find the process quite enjoyable. I really love what Matt Kahn had to say about expanding and the building of consciousness – and that just like everything else, it’s an ever-evolving process.
“If we think of the universe as a building, every floor of the building there’s a different way life works. And so the way life works at one stage is going to be relevant to that floor of exploration. And then the next floor we realize it doesn’t work that way anymore and we expand our consciousness to a different set of awareness or standard of living. And we literally go through this pattern where everything we learn we soon wake up from. So, the tendency of, ‘I realized a truth and I make that the only truth’ becomes something that we’re gonna wake up from inevitably, and the only thing we don’t wake up from, and the thing that gets revealed more and more throughout any state you are in the journey or whatever floor you’re on in the building of consciousness, is love…
The most powerful teaching for mankind is: ‘if love is the one thing that you don’t wake up out of, then love is where we start and love is what we explore throughout the journey. Love is the ultimate exploration.’” – Matt Kahn
I whole-heartedly agree that Love is the ultimate exploration. This is something that makes more sense to me than anything else throughout all of this so far. Through the process of awakening and expanding and building of consciousness, we are able to come to a place where we know that we are an expression of divinity in form. Divinity/God/Source is the purest love energy from which we all came. And to know ourselves as divinity and that what we experience, good/bad/ugly/happy/sad/whatever, couldn’t possibly be ANYTHING other than PERFECT. So once we embrace the perfection of our experience, we are able to relax into the flow and come into alignment with Source. And by relaxing into this flow and allowing and loving whatever arises, we are able to really tune in to ourselves and really start to pay attention to just how much we have an impact on our experience through our thoughts and emotions. Our outer reality and what we’re experiencing is a direct reflection of our inner landscape – and we have choices within each moment, perhaps choosing to think/react positively vs. choosing/react in a negative manner. And most importantly, in my opinion, is our willingness to be honest with ourselves about ourselves. Your willingness to be an honest authentic YOU determines the amount of resistance you experience within your body/your reality. Either you’re in alignment or you’re not. Something I find so fascinating about honesty/authenticity (and I’m not talking about the go-around-just-saying-whatever-is on-your-mind type of honesty, I’m speaking of honesty as a means to truly come into alignment with your divine Self…) is that not only is it good to just be an honest person in general (why lie? I mean, really?!) but that each time you say something, react in a certain way, think, or believe something that is out of alignment with your true self, you are disconnecting from source/disconnecting from your body/mind. When in a state of disconnect, the evidence can manifest in a number of ways. For me, I know when I am alignment because when I’m being completely honest and am connected, I feel a sense of relaxation and joy and happiness and I find myself in that now-moment-feel-good-flow and life just seems to work better. When I’m not being honest/authentic, or if I’m thinking in a way that is not in alignment with who I am as an expression of divinity, I’ll feel bad in my body. I’ll experience weird crappy emotions, thoughts, and there’s always the potential of becoming so disconnected that it’ll manifest itself as sickness or illness. Or it’ll just feel like I’m standing in the middle of a shit-storm.
How’s that for a little glimpse into what I’ve been experiencing? Ohhhh…I could go on and on for days about the intricacies of my personal energetic experiences, particularly in regards to the crazy physical sensations during energetic integration, the “symptoms” of the shifting energies that are currently going on, the synchronicities, the changes in my body that I’ve noticed, or the fantastic visions I’ve had during meditation. I could get really deep and detailed about how I think all of this is just a small fraction of the vastness of the whole grand design. Then there’s always the multidimensionality aspect of it all….but, I think I’ll save all that for a rainy day.
Bottom line – I am proud of how far I’ve come, where I am, who I am and what I know myself to BE. I’m going to continue to shine my light, to anchor in these new energies, to uplift and support others, to do what feels good and right to me and for me, and strive to remain the heart-centered-balanced-light-bearer that I know myself to be. I will continue to send out love and blessings and good vibes to all because we all need more love, not less.
With that said – I’m going to switch topics for a moment…
When I launched this website exactly a year ago today, so much had changed and transformed in my life in the five months prior to that first blog post. Considering that I was in such a whirlwind of energy/excitement/information and being the total spiritual-newbie I was, I was still trying to navigate the raging waters of my recent awakening, I wasn’t sure what, if anything, would come of this website. All I knew is that I had a reached a point where I felt confident enough to put myself out there and I created a space where I could openly and honestly share my experiences if I wanted and I was super excited to use the website as a platform to offer energy sessions.
So…here we are, one whole year later. While I’ve not utilized the blog portion of the website as much as I had hoped I would by this point, I am thrilled and it is with a heart overflowing with joy and gratitude that I can say that over the last year I have had the absolute pleasure of facilitating energy sessions with over 100 people – friends, family, co-workers, perfect strangers and quite a few people in various places across the world. I’ve learned so much about myself through this session work and working with others and it has completely evolved my views on health, well-being and the true innate power we hold as energetic beings in this physical manifestation.
It’s funny, because when I first started doing this work it just made me so excited to share it and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! But unfortunately, it wasn’t exactly something I felt I could just go around broadcasting because the concept isn’t really well-known or accepted as legitimate, and in the spirit of honesty, people think it’s bullshit. I did share my services via Facebook a number of times but it didn’t feel right to force it, and I felt as though since the abilities came about in their own perfect time I figured, if people needed/wanted my assistance, they would come across my info or reach out to me when the time was right for them. Because of the fear and uncertainty of being accepted, I struggled with embracing and identifying myself as an “energy healer.” But thankfully, because of the connections I’ve made with my clients and the positive experiences and results they have shared with me and with others – and because the work speaks for itself – I stand firm in knowing myself as not so much an “energy healer” but rather an “energy worker.” I hesitate to use the word “healer” simply because I feel that saying that I am an “energy healer” implies that I have some kind of power or control over another, which I do not. What I feel I am actually able to do within this session work is to hold a particular space for my clients. To facilitate what I feel is a vibrational environment that engages a person’s field. The space I am able to hold places my client in a state of allowing so that any energetic process they are ready for/is necessary for them on their journey in that moment can take place.
It can be quite frustrating considering that this type of energy work doesn’t come with a manual – so, it’s been through, and only through, feeling into the process intuitively and my experience in working with clients, their feedback and their results following the sessions, that I’ve come to some understanding about the benefits of the work. I will say that since my intuitive abilities have been increasing, I’ve had a few instances recently where I’ve been able to just “know” of an issue a person is having by simply connecting with them and feeling into their energy (which I’m extremely happy about and is a really cool thing to experience!) And, I love that word seems to be getting around and that not only am I able to comfortably identify with my abilities, but that others are starting to see me in that way as well. It makes my heart soar when someone stops me in the hall to ask me about energy work. I even love it when my friends joke about it and call me a witch, or “energetic xanax,” or come to me with a headache, a migraine, backache, or on the verge of a panic attack, because they’ve experienced relief from the work before. I especially love it when someone says, “I need you to work your magic on me.” These are the kinds of things that remind me to stand firm in who I am and what I’m capable of – fear be damned – because having to keep under wraps any of our unique gifts or pieces or parts, for whatever reason, makes it impossible for us to be in alignment with our true selves.
Alrighty. I think I’ve rambled on long enough – but, before I bid you adieu, and at the risk of sounding super cheesy – I just want everyone to know that I am here for you in whatever capacity I can be. I make a mean listening ear. I am always willing to make myself available for sessions. For those inquiring minds, I’m always up for answering questions. I really experience so much joy when I’m able to assist others and am always grateful for the opportunity.
THANK YOU, at the very least, for reading and for being a part of my journey.
Sending you all so much love and gratitude ❤